Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
