do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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