Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
