WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
