well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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