My first STD was from a foam party
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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