sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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