I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
