I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
