ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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