is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
