i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Actions speak louder than pants.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
