Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
