The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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