Christians are straight up FREAKS
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
