I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
