How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize