theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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