I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am naked and annoyed.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize