Your face is a jimmy john
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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