ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
