fuck your aforementioned shoe
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
