I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
