90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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