Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He did a backflip because drugs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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