Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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