oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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