So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize