I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
