his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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