jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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