I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
