no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
