her vagine was all disorganized.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
