i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Enjoy the penises
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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