someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize