i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
