so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
