well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
