i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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