Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
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