were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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