Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
