mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
