I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
