...so i touched it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I love you.
Bad choice
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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