Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
