Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
