You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My vagina is very pro this idea
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
