Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
