onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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