I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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