so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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