so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
