In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
