There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
