porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize