bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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