they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
