Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
