It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
