Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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