it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think my moral compass just broke
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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