Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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