Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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